HELPING SOLDIERS

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My work gives me opportunities to meet people of different genders, diverse age groups and different types of personalities in the army. I am an extrovert, and never got tired of talking to people whom I meet. I came into contact with paracounselling back in 2006 and that was when I was exposed to the power of listening; the rewarding experience of helping other when they facing difficulty. This was when my narrative began.

So what was really going on for me? I have to admit before I was exposed to the realm of counseling, I dealt with personnel issues which any methods that I felt comfortable with, which are not the standard methods. No framework to follow and no mentor to guide me. I had to manage with the soldier’s problems almost every other day during my stay in OETI as Wing Sergeant Major. It is challenging and somewhat exciting for me as the servicemen approach me with deep trust in me to help them solve their problem. Now I feel confident that the soldier’s have placed their trust in me despite me being their superior as I could provide them with positive solution and help them with their problems

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So what do I want actually? I see my extrovertness as a strength not everyone has. By making full use of this strength, I felt that I could be very open with the issues raised by the soldiers. However, the soldiers may not understand and feel that my tone and approach is too intimidating for them especially when I am their superior. Thus, I have to regulate the “energy” level when communicating between my soldier and me. By being constantly conscious of this aspect, I feel that I can improve on this weakness.

My ability to be able to exercise critical thinking is another strength of mine. It allows me to think deeper into what the client is trying to tell me and establish a hunch easily in the early stages of the counseling sessions. However it can be my weakness as well because having too many hunches is not healthy for the relationship between the soldier and me. I establish hunches based on my personal experiences of the similar kind. Thus sometimes this may at the same time contradict my thought process which may lead to blind spots that I may not be able to bypass. My role as a paracounsellor is to help soldiers move out of their blind spots and not to get into one myself.

So the next question is how do I get what I want? There are many avenues to learn the skill of counseling. Books, internet, courses, etc are many sources of information to tap on. And I chose to go for the paracounsellor preparatory course in SAF. I believe that the knowledge of the counsellors in the SAF counseling centre would benefit me. With theory sessions, facilitating the discussions on case studies and, best of all, with role plays, I can effectively learn, discuss differences and later on apply them to gain a better understanding. Going for this course is definitely a SO SMART goal. I take ownership of my keenness to pick up the skill (Subject Owned), which is a specific course that I targeted to attend (Specific). There are frameworks or models to guide me through (Measurable) and my superior is encouraging enough to approve my application to attend this course (Attainable). Getting away from work for five days to pick up an invaluable skill seemed fair enough (Realistic) and, last but not least, within five days, I get to learn the skill which I have been longing to (Timely).

Some of the learning points that I have taken back were:

1. Counseling is a form of support for the needy client. It was never to advise the client on what to do but to listen to the client’s story and facilitate him or her to go through a systematic thought process. This helps the client to straighten out his or her thoughts, move past any blind spots and later come up with action plans that he or she can take ownership of.
2. The need to respect the client as a normal person. One who is in need of help or even just lending a listening ear is not a weakling, he or she is just confused or unsure of him or herself usually due to uncertainties, several issues bothering him or her. With this respect in mind, then the relationship between the counsellor and the client can be drawn closer, usually so when the client can put his or her trust completely in the counsellor.
3. The need to care for the client as I would to my friends. I have to be genuinely concerned of the client’s troubles before I can open up myself to listen actively to the client. Without this sense of care and concern for the client, the trust factor may never be felt between the counsellor and client.
4. To show empathy and not sympathy. I can never understand thoroughly how the client felt of what he or she had undergone. The only thing is to empathise with him or her, to identify with her the feelings and thoughts that might be within the client. In order to respect and care for the client, I must not attempt to sympathise with him or her. This will only make the client feel weak and helpless.
5. Last but not least, whatever I do for the client, I must do nothing to harm the client or society. This might come about as a struggle within the counsellor’s mind. On one hand, I have to respect the confidentiality of the issue, however when the need arise e.g. actions or planned actions by the client signifies certain illegalities, I have to report him to the authorities. This then, perhaps if the client does not understand, leads to mistrust by the client.

"The Army recognizes these Soldiers the flexibility and allow them the time to handle all the personal business. At the same time, I have the responsibility to bring them back up to speed to be a productive Soldier .These Soldiers who are serving compassionate reassignments - temporary tours of duty where the Soldier continues to serve their Nation while also taking care of serious family issues. And, as the first sergeant major of EWTW, is there to help them through the tough times. These Soldiers are facing significant challenges. Their father, mother, child or another loved one is dying," he said. "There might be financial problems caused by the situation that they also have to deal with. I basically play mom and dad for these Soldiers. I help them get through the emotional part of life. I help them get financially back on their feet. At times, it is somewhat overwhelming for them and I'm here to help them. They have special needs. I make sure their needs are fulfilled so they can go on to be successful in their Army Life .Sgt. Maj. to oversee the administrative needs of the 200 Soldiers assigned to the wing. I work with several government, volunteer and community organizations that support Soldier needs. A career Soldier, my self is known for the compassion and generosity I show toward Soldiers - all the way from privates to officers -- who serve at Army. Recently, I was the recipient for the SAF counselor appreciation dinner. Describing how I have helped several of my young Soldiers deal with personal issues - such as driving them to medical, financial and educational appointments, providing them with money from my personal funds to cover sudden expenses, and helping out Soldiers and their families during their criss situation. Going the "extra mile personally gave of my experience and time in a self-sacrificing means of mentoring to make sure that young Soldiers receive valuable lessons learned and guidance in their development in becoming future WOSE crops . In my opinion, there are no better people on earth than Soldiers and that's what's kept me in the Army," he said. "I enjoy the camaraderie and the challenge of the job. I love serving Soldiers and that's what my job is. Basically, I look out for Soldiers When I first became a sergeant Major, which was the first time I was put in charge to managing of young boys’ .To me, which was where it was at - developing someone who will take your place. A Soldier will mess up, but he doesn't do it on purpose," he said. "He wants to do a great job, the best job ever, 100 percent of the time. I don't think you will find that kind of work ethic in the civilian work force. As with most Soldiers, my years in the Army have left their mark on. I know for a fact that the Army has made me a better leader, a better man. "It's exposed me to all kinds of people from all different walks of life who learn to get along with each other and work together to accomplish the mission. Today, with nearly 25 years of service in the Army, I believe the best leaders are Soldiers who are firm but fair, who are smart and educated about the world, who have a wealth of experience to draw from and who, most of all, have compassion for Soldiers and other people. I hope others see those qualities in them and in their role as a leader. Since I took over this job, I go home every night and look myself in the mirror. That's my check. I ask myself ‘SARA, today did you do everything you could for those Soldiers?' The promise I've made to myself is to try to do everything in my power to help my soldiers out. Being a counsellor is not an easy job, with guidelines and codes of conduct to abide by. However, I will stand firm in abiding by all these rules, lest I violate any of the ethics and conduct of being a paracounsellor. I am glad that despite these, I am able to help people.